24 May 2011

summertime soc

For me, summertime has always been a time for thinking.  The only time of the year when I am essentially free to do whatever I want.  Or, to do nothing at all.  There are no obligations creeping up behind me (or at least, way fewer than during the rest of the year).  On one hand, it's great.  I can be much more relaxed.  Instead of worrying about making sure everything gets done that needs to, I can breathe and take a break.  On the other hand, it leaves me too much time to think.  Free from all the stresses of school, my mind wanders.  And being the kind of person that I am, it wanders to everything that could possibly stress me out during summer vacation.  The thesis application that I really should have just gotten done during the semester.  MCAT and GRE prep.  Booking airline tickets and train tickets and hotels for my upcoming study abroad/Europe trip.  Besides that, being home in itself is stressful.  My parents aren't used to having three kids at home, and I'm not used to having to answer to my parents about everything I do.  Things have always been...tense...at my house, and while me going off to college should have at least helped prove to them that I'm an adult and can take care of myself, it's seemingly done the exact opposite to my parents.  Now that I think for myself, they're slowly losing the control over me that they so enjoyed for the first 17 years of my life.  Yes, I've finished three years of college now, and I've been living away from home for three years, and while I have a rational view of the world, I'm not afraid of it.  No, my parents haven't really accepted any of this and so things are especially tense.  More thinking...what can I do so this will all calm down?  In some ways, I miss the stresses of the semester, where I was forced to stay focused and not let my mind wander in all these different directions.  Maybe that's what gets me through the majority of the year- the sheer fact that, if I get too distracted, I'll fall.  And I can't let that happen.

1 comment:

  1. Dearest Aliyah,

    Don't be stressed; I am here for you. Also, Genome says that if you are stressed you will get sick. And then you'll be grumpy. I love you too. <3 Awwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Except I think some stuff you write about is complete and utter nonsense. You should write about how awesome I am sometime.

    Love, Spencer :)


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